once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
