im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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