youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
