i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
