Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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