Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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