He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
