How drunk are you??
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation