That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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