he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.