that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum