he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.