whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion