We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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