I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
