oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
