so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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