What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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