Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
