fuck your aforementioned shoe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dicks are not precious.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
