Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
