you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
