Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
