We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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