I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
