Please, let me fuck your mom
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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