ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
