Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You've changed since you got that strap on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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