Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize