So drunk its hurt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
