so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
