so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
