fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize