Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
