it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
