It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
