After last night, I could never be a politician.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
