So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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