Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
