Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
