I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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