I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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