There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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