So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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