finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize