I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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