Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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