Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
