If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
