HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize