remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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