Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
