its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
