ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
