I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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