we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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