he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
