"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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