kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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