It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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