I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
