You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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