Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
