all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
